I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
