It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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