I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
