Screwed.edu
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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