it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
