There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Still dying that you shit outside
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
