I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
