just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
