Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
