so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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