I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
