MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
two words...techno handjob
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
