I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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