you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
