i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
