She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
