Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
