gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
