If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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