hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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