A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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