Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
