Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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