Three words: puerto rican gang bang
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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