i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
