so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Congratulations! We have a period
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