Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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