They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
