So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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