you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
