New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
