Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
