cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
