I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
