I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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