like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just high enough for therapy.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
