she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
