Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
