Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
