we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How drunk are you?
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