His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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