You just made me feel so damn special
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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