i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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