well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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