Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
