found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
