screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
