More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
