i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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