dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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